The Newb Test
by kairiwilson1
Summary: Because Lavi has little regard for the wellbeing of little blue haired punks


It was the day after the newest (and youngest!) Exorcist arrived at the Black Order, uniform and all, when Lavi met the kid.

Or brat. Because that kid was a brat to the core. What was he, five?

"Actually, he's nine...I think," Allen commented absently as his red haired friend ranted on. All he got out of it was that Lavi was sore over Timothy for bragging about how he's constantly surrounded by older women. As in Emilia and Klaud.

Either way, Allen cared more for his army sized meal than Lavi's jealous ranting, sooo...

"There must be something I can do to get back at that kid!" Lavi exclaimed as Allen mouth-dived back into his mountain of food. As he formatted overly complex plots against the boy-_"Maybe I could get Komui to join in! I know he'd want revenge for what that kid did to Lenalee!"_-his greatest inspiration walked through the cafeteria doors with a typical scowl plastered on his femmy face.

First, the metaphorical light bulb flickered to life.

Then, a dangerous grin stretched across a certain redhead's face ("Um...Lavi? Are you sure you're not a Noah? Because that looks kind of suspicious," Allen blinked worriedly at his friend).

And then, just as soon as it began, the dark aura surrounding Lavi vanished and he brushed his friend off with a warm smile.

"Don't worry, Al! Everything's all good!" _Everything's just perfect!_

After a long day of studying under both Emilia and Klaud's hawklike glares, Timothy was ecstatic when he was told he could put his lame books away and head off to dinner.

DINNER! They kept him there all day!

Grumbling under his breath, the blue haired Exorcist marched into the cafeteria and straight up to Allen, who was ordering his third mountain of the day.

"Is your stomach made up of black holes or something?" Timothy asked curtly, yet genuinely curious. Logically speaking, all that food couldn't possibly fit in that tiny frame of Allen's...right? The teen in question simply flashed one of his halfhearted smiles and shrugged.

"Who knows," he said. "Maybe I do." Then he gathered up his dinner and carefully walked over to the table where Lavi was sitting, watching the white-haired teen with an amused glint in his eye.

"Hey Tim~!" Lavi waved the boy over. "Ya wanna sit with us at the 'Cool Exorcists' table?"

Timothy ambled on over, carrying his single tray of whatever junk he considered food when his 'Mommies' weren't around to spoon feed him. He glanced around at the numerous, mostly empty tables or filled with Finders, other tables before raising a cocky eyebrow and asking, "As opposed to where...?"

Lavi grinned and pointed a thump behind him at Kanda, who dutifully shot him-and everyone else-death glares should they even think about coming near him.

"You can always sit at the 'Not As Cool Exorcist' table," he grinned.

"Don't you mean 'Exorcist_s_'?"

"Well, I don't know what you biclops's can see, but cyclops's like me can only see one Exorcist sitting at the loner table, am I right?"

It should be noted that Kanda made a mental note to seriously kill Lavi one of these days. Like, for real.

Timothy made a show of weighing his options before taking the seat offered to him. After a few minutes of tense eating, the blue haired boy began to relax.

And Lavi sighed. Quite loudly, so it was obviously fake.

"It's a shame you can't sit with us all the time..." Lavi sighed dramatically. Even Allen rose an eyebrow at that, shared a confused glance with Timothy, but didn't say anything.

Sort of.

"I'm going to return my dishes now," Allen excused himself as he stood up, turned, and made his way back to the order window.

Timothy looked up at Lavi with agitated confusion spread across his face. "Why not? I'm sitting here now."

Lavi chuckled and patted the kid sympathetically on the shoulder. "Yes, but you haven't passed the 'Cool' test...yet," Timothy gave his elder the purely innocent "What are you smoking?" look before Lavi answered his unasked question.

"Only when-if-you pass the 'Cool' test will you be considered as one of the 'cool' Exorcists~!"

Timothy smirked. He knew a challenge when he heard it.

"What do I have to do?" he asked, crossing his arms with a smug look on his face. Lavi leaned in and whispered his task.

It only took a few seconds for his smirk to fall flat off his face and crash land into the cold, hard floor. The boy gave a wary glance over at the 'Not As Cool Exorcist' table and silently gulped.

"Of course, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I'm sure Klaud would hate to lose another pupil so soo-"

"I'm in!" Timothy declared triumphantly, as if he already accomplished his goal, just as Allen returned to his seat. The white-haired teen shot an accusatory glare at Lavi, but didn't immediately voice whatever it was he had assumed.

"That's great, Tim!" Lavi smiled, finishing off his drink. "Since you're so young, we'll be nice and give you...say...twenty-four hours to report back with your task accomplished? Won't we, Allen?" Allen quickly shook off his glare through confused blinks.

"Umm..."

"Twenty-four hours? No problem!" Timothy stated confidently, turning to make his leave.

"With proof!" Lavi called after him, who only back-waved in acknowledgment. After the boy was out of earshot, Allen leaned sighed sadly.

"Please tell me you don't have him marching off to his death..."

Lavi smirked.

"Nah, only Kanda~."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _I was wondering where all the Timothy fics were...but then I realized DERP DEE DURR, there are none~! :D  
>At least I don't have to worry about my idea already having been used, ya~?<br>I can totally list off a whole other buncha shizzfics I should be writing, but I felt Timothy needed some love~!  
>Seriously! Why does no one love this kid? HE'S GOT BLUE HAIR! AND GROPAGE ABILITIES!<br>Fosrsly, he's like a kid version of Saix! Minus the scar, plus a gem, and plus a pervy personality~!  
>That, AND HE'S GOT BLUE FRIGGIN HAIR.<br>But I digress~  
>As for what le totally mysterious task is...? Well, you'll just have to wait and find out~! ;D<br>Pardon any funky spelling mistakes or random words, I typed this on my iPod, and autocorrect likes to mess with me sometimes~_


End file.
